420 Weed Reviews: Green Crack

Check out the below review for the powerful and oddly named Green Crack strain. A strong daytime sativa, it’s known to significantly boost your energy (some would say a little too much) while keeping you nice and alert. Have you tried Green Crack before? Let us know about it in the comments!

Everyone loves a good weed story, even if they tend to be really, really long. So when Snoop Dogg smoked some herb so intense he dubbed it โ€œGreen Crack,โ€ it became a legend overnight. Being zoned out for a few days as some recent dental-health issues started to affect my mental health, I thought an energy boost might be in order for the NoCo Hemp Expo. Meeting and greeting drains me as an introvert, but this strain was over-the-top in terms of what I needed.

Itโ€™s the go-to strain if you want to make fun of the silliness inherent in the naming conventions we use. Clearly, itโ€™s not good to name anything after crack cocaine. At the end of the day, I could care less what they call it, as I donโ€™t think โ€œCushโ€ โ€” the original monicker โ€” is that much better. Names are important, however: calling it Marijuana #2943 tells me nothing about the lineage or expected effects. At least when the word crack is involved, I can guess it should be energetic.

In fact, the name sold me. On my trip to The Health Center, I had originally wanted a strong indica. I also hadnโ€™t seen decent Green Crack in dozens of visits to dispensaries, leading me to believe it might be slowly phased out by the industry. Blacklisted, sans James Spader. I always try to keep a fun sativa in stock for the occasional daytime smoke and house guests, as thereโ€™s nothing worse than a handful of people hanging out without a word to say among them. Say what you will, this oneโ€™s a conversation piece!

The nose was more reminiscent of a good Durban Poison, but less chemmy and more earthy up front as I first opened my bag. Thereโ€™s almost some pineapple buried under there, like Sponge Bob lives deep in this nug. Of the phenotype, this leans toward Skunk #1 with a pointed bud structure and tons of hairs, although not as downright Wookie-ish as some other crosses that share the genetics. If not for that woody incense, it could almost be mistaken for an island sativa.

Since I needed to be โ€œonโ€ talking hemp with people who have been in the industry for much longer than myself, I loaded up my Magic Flight Launch Box, as vaping usually gives me a manageable high. Citrus and spice were much more present in the smoke, and after three hits I had a great head change. When I arrived at the expo, I was ready to rub elbows. And not just with hemp salve.

Then, I kicked into overdrive. I met a young cannabis enthusiast named Desmond who was interested in all things related to this great plant. He had no idea I was about to unleash a barrage of words upon him. My girlfriend insisted we get a picture together, one which I look far too awake in. Instead of trying some indica Ultra Sonja to calm down, I picked up a cup of Happy Heart Hemp Coffee. Then, an hour later, a Cannabis Energy Drink with mango. Mango contains myrcene, which is said to intensify a THC high. My uncomfortable energy was peaking, as I was noticeably jittery talking to other vendors.

Way to nail a first impression, Jake.

I tried the strain again the next day to similar effect. Iโ€™m prone to pacing while talking on the phone, but I was actually retracing my steps, avoiding cracks, and still interrupting people on conference calls because I flat-out couldnโ€™t shut up. It had little effect on my tooth pain, with the subtle throbbing reverberating in my noggin. A couple of hours later, I had calmed down playing โ€œ2048โ€ in an attempt to focus on a singular thing. Iโ€™m no physician, but this is as close as Iโ€™ve come to marijuana-induced ADD.

As a big fan of sativas, I had expected to enjoy the strainโ€™s high Iโ€™d always had. Primarily, a dialed-in and centered buzz that allowed me to knock out tasks as they came up. Instead, I was all over the place. A kid wearing Moon boots in a jumpy castle. Perhaps it has the opposite effect for some, providing a certain calmness to their day. I was closer to chanting โ€œSerenity now!โ€ than relaxing, though. Green Crack is a hell of a drug, man.

Green Crack (marijuana review, Strain Theory)

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